I recently drove, an exhausting 10 hours, out to Kentucky to visit the distilleries peppered throughout the country side. What I can truly tell you is that it was amazing. We left the great state of Delaware around 5 in the morning and it took roughly 10-12 hours to get to Bardstown, Ky. Along the way there was a few thunderstorms that apparently confused the hell out of many of the drivers along our route. Driving went from casual cruising to an apocalyptic motorcade. We luckily missed several accidents by mere seconds. If it werent for my years in the Military I probably would have shit my self several times.
Now that our hearts had settled back down we made it to our hotel in Bardstown, Ky, and settled into the room. We were going to go out and get some of the fine local food and have a cold one. Before this was to happen we had to make a determination on which bed I was going to sleep in. You see the hotel would not provide a cot for me so I was going to have to sleep in the same bed as one of my buddies. I chose the smaller of the two fellas because these weren’t the largest beds in the world. There is nothing like two grown men sleeping in a twin bed together. I prayed that I would not spoon him later do to the fact that I am a cuddler, gonna have to be the big spoon in this one.
Off we went to find a local pub to indulge in some food and fine local craft beer. We stumbled upon a place called “Talbot Tavern”. The place is old, not like 8 term senator old, but old. The menu was decent with a lot of comfort food on it, yet it did have a couple of local items that I was intrigued by. The two dishes that stood out the most were called the “Hot Brown”, this concoction of meat and veggies was something that I was not ready to dive into, only because the name sounded like some kind of weird sexual act. Not doing it, no sir, not this guy. The next one was the Kentucky Burgoo. A spicy stew that made me sweat on impact, coupled this with a local beer that had a touch of bourbon to it, and I was in heaven. The locals had one me over with their food, and the way the girls all had that southern draw. Yes sir this was now a good trip.
After a great night of sleep, no spooning, we were to set out on a journey to find the distilleries that make the best bourbon’s. As a side note I slept on the very edge of the bed and tried not to move at all. I did how ever have a terrible dream that caused me to whimper like a cold puppy during the night. My bed mate did not hear this, which is good, because I believe he would have called my man hood into question. After we spent the morning eating hotel waffles we piled into my buddies truck and we were off to see Makers Mark, Jim Beam, Heaven Hills, and others. The tastings alone I figured would be great. I did not do any research on where we were going because I wanted to leave some element of surprise. The internet allows you to see everything these days which kinda spoils the fun.
We drove for about 30 minutes I believe when we came to our first destination, Maker’s Mark.
HOLY MOTHER OF LIQUOR, this place was awesome. Excitment boner initiated, I was in the mother land of Whiskey. I could have reached over and kissed my buddy right on his face for bringing my out here. The tour began going into a building where the process begins, and the tour guide does an amazing job describing how the whiskey is created. I personally thought that Bourbon was delivered by angles on the back of a Unicorned Pegasus, but apparently I was wrong. Building after building I was blown away how old and functional everything still was. I mean these guys still use a 1930’s printing press to create its labels. Needles to say that I was ready to pull out the credit card and buy a barrel on site, but I did not have the needed 10k plus to do it, or the wifes permission.
We would eventually escape the grasp of Maker’s Mark and move on to the other distilleries in the region, yet none would compare to the whiskey wonderland that we were now departing. The rest of the day would be spent driving around and partaking in tastings at different places. Once we returned to our room it was time for a great nighta slumber. Once again I craddled the side of the bed in fear that our butts might bump each other and I would leap from the bed screaming like a little girl. To my displeasure we did not, and I slept great. The drive ahead was going to be long but at least I could fantasize and dream about the tour that I took. In a few years I will return to gather the bottles from the barrel that has my name on it. I can’t wait. Everyone should take the bourbon trail tour.