The Miami Heat

Just a short time ago 5 dudes were unleashed on the city of Miami, Florida.  We were there to celebrate the fact that we were losing another bro to marriage.  The group of individuals that I can now live vicariously through is getting smaller and smaller.  Almost everyone I know is married now.  The gentlemen of this foray were all married expect the obvious bachelor.  True names will be omitted from this to protect the innocent, not that I will tell you anything really good any way.  The bachelor of this group was the Great Khal, the Lebanese Lion, beast, what ever you want to call him, it doesn’t matter you can’t physically stop him anyway.  DP Killa, the man who has more split personalities then the joker himself.  He can be loud, a dancing bear, who actually moves well for a man of his size, he also a cuddler, and generally a man who doesn’t sleep, until it’s time to sleep so good luck getting him up.  Teflon, nothing sticks, tall and smooth, the legend, you want to be Teflon, not sure why it just feels right. ScareCat was the new guy and great friend to the Khal, and then rounding out the group was this sexy bastard, theetimetrvlr himself.IMG_3790

This trip began like most trips in that we began drinking around 5 in the morning just to ensure that there wouldn’t be an pre-flight jitters by anyone. We all met at the Great Khal’s house where we would par-take in the nectar of the gods.  Once we threw a few down we loaded into the steel chariot and off we were to the airport.  Once we all got checked in the obvious thing to do was hit the bar.

Left to right, The Great Khal, ScareCat, Teflon, DP Killa, and TheeTimeTRVLR

Proceeding the early morning festivities we hopped on the plane and headed off to the glorious state of Florida.  We were all very excited to get out hit the beach, bars, and more importantly the drinks.

The flight didn’t take long considering that I was already about five drinks in, that’s including two Jack and Coke’s on the plane ride in.  It was early afternoon and we arrived in our Spring Wonderland.  The temperature felt perfect, this may have been from the fact that I was already buzzed pretty good, but whatever.  We gathered up our luggage found an Uber and hit the ground running.  It took about 30 minutes for us to get to our hotel in Miami, we dropped our luggage off at the desk and went looking for a shitty bar to start drinking again.  It didn’t take long to come across the “Sandbar”, about two blocks north of our hotel.  Cheap drinks, and sand on the floor inside the joint.  The crowd was great and inviting, perhaps it had something to do with it being St. Patrick’s Day weekend, all the more reason to drink until I couldn’t see straightSandbar

After we sat and drank our faces off at the Sandbar for a period of time, we went back to the hotel to get our room.  We were staying at the Deauville Beach Resort, which once we got to our room we found that it’s grunginess was perfect for the week that was to ensue.  I am not one hundred percent sure but it did smell like disappoint.  The view wasn’t to bad it overlooked the roof of another building, and the streets, where you could see people walking drunk at all times in search for food to re-energize and go at it again.  Viewing the ocean would have been nice, but I love to people watch as a hobby.  We all decided that we were going to take a nap and then prepare to go out for the night, it was clearly time. Beer 30

One of the places that we went to was a Cuban Restaurant a few blocks North of our hotel.  The place was decent and the food was pretty good.  ScareCat was already feeling pretty good, and decided that he would make the Cuban Restaurant pay for being open when we were ready to feast.  ScareCat explained to the waiter that his English wasn’t very good, it was at that very moment that I knew this dude was alright.  Confused by the Americans poor English, the waiter explained to him that it was okay and that his English was good enough for the both of them.  Once the verbal battle was over ScareCat told the waiter that he wanted the full Dominican Experience.  Yes the Dominican Experience, you can see how this may have confused our waiter, yet we thought he was onto something.  This dude is great.  The waiter stayed with him and was able to real him back in and order something from the Cuban menu that was provided.  After finishing our meals we set out to inspect the rest of the city and let everyone know we were F&%$ Ready.

Since this was a bachelor party the next few hours, days became a blur as I time traveled my way through the events.  I will out of respect for all of you leave some photos for you to attempt to piece some of it together.

Trying to formulate a plan that would not involve hookers and cocaine
The Lebanese Lion Wanted to go Coral Hunting with Tranny’s. They are an elusive group of people.
Cause we’re Brothers
This Dude smelled like lost Dreams


There is something Special  about Closet Pizza


Low and behold we wrecked shop, had a ton to drink, met some awesome people.  None of the trip would have been possible without ScareCat, (Who at one point did resemble Nick Lacey, but on crack).  Teflon loves milk and cookies before a nap, The Great Khal loves marine life, like a captive dolphin being released into the wild love, DP Killa can’t be stopped, and I still remember bits and pieces.  I wish that I could give you guys all the details but that would be against bro code.  I may be in violation just with this story alone.  This was brought to you by………scarecat