Mother of God what have I done to myself. We went to Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia to enjoy the All Star Craft Beer and Wine Festival. The event has over 100 craft brewers and distillers. There was more than just beer there, they also had wine and whiskey. We went with the VIP tickets to get in a little early and have a chance to walk the base paths, get into the dugout, and hang out in the Hall of Fame Club area which featured DJ’s and even more alcohol.
So yeah it started off innocently enough until I got past the front gates. We got beer immediately, I started with New Belgium Melon Ale that was sweet and delicious. Once we got a drink we hustled down to the field to walk the base paths and touch home plate. Following that we were able to go to the dugout and get a couple of good pics. It’s pretty cool to see the stadium from that perspective. I have been fortunate enough that I have been able to get on the Eagles Field, Phillies Field, and played lacrosse in the Wells Fargo Center back when it was the F U Center. Lucky Guy right.
The VIP tickets allowed us to get in an hour earlier and gave us access to the Hall of Fame section of the stadium. I was drinking beer at a ridiculous pace as if I were the Usain Bolt of drunks fast. I jumped from line to line finishing one beer after another and found that I was feeling pretty good fast. The issue was that I still had another 4 hours to go, WTF was I thinking. F@#$ that it was time to bow up and get it in so I made the only wise choice that was available at the time, get the free bourbon. I gotcha looking back maybe not my smartest choice but I made a decision and went with it. See we added a life lesson in here.
Right after I got the bourbon I turned and there was a stand that had Hank Sauce. What is Hank Sauce you ask, it’s just some slamming hot sauce. I will admit this was good decision number two. Right after getting the bourbon I decided that I would try Honey Habanero Sauce. This shit set my face and mouth on fire. I tried to act like a tough guy by saying things like “No it’s not that bad, just tickles the tongue a bit.” Tickles the tongue, fuck that it was like a thousand mini heat ninjas were raging a war on my mouth. I had to extinguish this fire and the only smart option was Sangria. I noticed there is a trend of good decisions being made along the drunken journey.
By 3 o’clock i had run through about 20 different beers. I justified this action based off of the fact that I was drinking from a smaller cup. Yes, that makes it okay ask any alcoholic. I got it, thats like saying I didn’t do a lot of cocaine because I used a 1 dollar bill and not a full Benjamin. Whatever don’t judge me. The beers were mixed on flavor of all kinds yet there seemed to be a heavy emphasis on the IPA’s and Melon flavored beer. I think that my favorite beer of the day was Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale. This had a great finish to it and was delicious. Even the wife enjoyed it and she doesn’t care much for the beers. She stuck to wine, whiskey, and vodka.
At 3 the crowd grew because the general tickets were coming in so we headed up to the Hall of Fame Club to get a way from some of the crowd. They had more beer and drinks up there plus DJ’s playing and some food. You could tell we were in a nicer part of the stadium because it had carpet and didn’t smell like bad decisions. Around 3:30 we decided it was time to eat so we split a cheese steak and crab fires from Chickie and Petes. The large quantity of alcohol that I had helped to enhance the flavors of this meal. I was eating like a king. Well at least that is how I felt on the inside on the outside I probably looked like a sloppy fat ass scarfing down his last meal before heading out for more pillaging. The smell of bead decisions was increasing.
Off we went to drink some more and talk to total strangers. There were some cool people at the event. We got to talking to this one couple that had recently moved to the area from Atlanta. They didn’t meet in Atlanta though they met in Philadelphia. Neither one of them were Eagles or Phillies fans so I wished them the worst and moved on. We continued to drink and bullshit with people for the next couple of hours and by 6 we decided to move over to Xfinity Live and grab some drinks there while we waited for Dave our driver to pick us up. No way in hell was I ever going to get behind a wheel after an event like this one.
Xfinity live was hopping like it always is. Once at the bar we grabbed a Captain and Coke for the wife and a Jameson and Ginger for myself. I could start to feel the dimensions shift on me at this point and I knew that the spaceship would be picking me up soon. Memories at this point begin to fade. Looking back on the videos that were taken I professed my love for Nachos, slept the entire way home, and made a wonderful dish of half-cooked chicken tenders and potato chips. I also shot another video were I can no longer operate one of my eyes. You can see the video on the His Vault Facebook Page. I managed to time travel from around 6:30 pm until I woke up on my living room floor at 3 am. I took my ass up stairs and passed out in the bed smiling from the day that I just head.
Citizens Bank All Star Craft Beer Festival is awesome and I plan on making it an annual trip. Below will be some of the beers that I remember and some that I believe I drank but not to sure. I can’t tell you what most of them tasted like because they all started to run together. Now it’s time to get a little hair of the dog.
See you in the Future – Thee Time Traveler