I will tell you the tale of a man who is a legend, mainly in his own mind, but his growing popularity is that of an active volcano, we are all waiting for it to erupt. His claim to fame seems to come from lies and wise tales yet many have been there to either witness or be implicated in one of his acts. His mind wonders a bit and he doesn’t sit still much, or he sits still too much it’s kinda weird to explain. Either way this man has gone by many names, Stephen, Stephano, The Aquatic Giant, TAL, T, Frankie, SLAM, and the finally the Freak. He rarely matches his clothes which adds to the oddity of his character. He may be wearing a black fur with red shorts, or plaid pants with an off-color V-neck. It doesn’t make sense nor should it. He is more cartoon character than real human. Most stories start with, “hey remember that time he did this or did that”. You all laugh and the new guy says “No Fucking Way.” You chuckle, shake your head and walk away, he doesn’t know any better. Recently the Freak added small but new accolades to his growing resume of I can’t believe he is doing that tasks. He was in an independent short film, is a professional boxer (March 24th), had a beer named after his alter ego ” The Selfie King of Delaware”, and now has made it to competitive eater. The Freak will be participating in Wing Bowl on February 2nd.
The Wing Bowl is probably the single greatest eating competition and show that exist on this blessed planet. Only the city of Philadelphia could host such and event. There are women, beers, fights, vomit, nudity, comedy, and a mountain of side-show activities that are going on. To add to this it takes place first thing in the morning. This insane environment plays right into the wheel house of the Freak. He loves all of those things, some more than others. He also may or may not suffer from and extreme case of ADD or ADHD. I am no doctor but this fucker can’t focus sometimes unless it’s a starring contest. You ever have a starring contest with a 44-year-old man. Back to the story at hand.
The venue is the Wells Fargo Center in Philly and there will be more than 20,000 people in attendance to watch grown men and women stuff their face with thousands of wings. Yes the winner generally eats more than 400 wings in a short amount of time. Please look up the rules you will be blown away be their glutinous feats. The place is full of music, foul language, and simply a gathering of heathens from all parts of the east coast there to cheer on their favorite fat man as they try to rise to legendary status. If you have the right personality, which the Freak does, you can quickly become a legend in the area.
I have the unfortunate timing of being away and not being able to play a part in the entourage of the Freak which no doubt will be amazing. His sponsors, Unique Images, Allen Construction, and Casapullas in Christiana will not cut him short on amazing. Plan for a party, plan for something that people will be talking about for a long time. Plan for him to do something so uncomfortable that it makes your dead grandmother shutter. Plan for him to rise like a Phoenix, if the Phoenix was out of shape and eating a bucket of chicken wings, okay so maybe run like a flaming hog, as he becomes the legend he so desires to become. My support is in his corner to put on a great show, because that’s what he does. This majestic event will be on 2 February 2018, the day that the infamous Delaware Selfie King moves to a new level. If you don’t like him the only that I can tell you is to “GO FUCK YOURSELF” Maybe if we are lucky next year THEE TIME TRAVELER AND THE FREAK can compete together. Good luck good friend and for every one else may god have mercy on your souls.