So after very short hiatus the Freak contacted me to tell me that he is doing a dumplin eating contest in Philadelphia at Sang Keen Noodle House. He will be hanging with some of his buddies from wing bowl like Shittsburgh I mean Pittsburgh Paulie, Dave Brunelli, and for the love of god Heather Cahill. Go ahead click that link, you won’t be disappointed. The gist of the competition is to finish 58 Dumplings (48 for women) in 45 minutes, and your meal is on Sangkee, plus receive a $88 Sangkee Gift Card. So basically no chewing, just swallowing. My pick is on a certain contender that I believe can swallow all day, yup Pittsburgh Paulie. You sly fuckers, I know what you were going to say. It’s almost dumplin time.
Wing Bowl is just days away and The Freak continues to prepare for the greatest competitive eating contest known to man. The festivities will kick off with the weigh in and pre-party at Chickie’s and Petes in South Philly. This is the party to start the mother of all parties. Then on Feb 2nd at the Wells Fargo Center the party will begin, WING BOWL 26.
The anticipation is building around the single greatest eating event ever, WING BOWL. Frankie Paul sits and trains in and out of the ring. He gets in the EAT LAB and works on his food game. Shit, he ain’t eating chicken wing he eats Falcon wings that he caught with own bare hands. He is what Rocky wanted to be. The Competitors are now coming out of the wood works, like this bum Pittsburgh Paulie, in an attempt to shake up THE FREAK. Pittsburgh Paulie is the kinda guy who gets out of breath just driving. Frankie Paul is cut from a different cloth, he doesn’t get worried, he OPERATES. His following is beginning to grow. The Massses are algning for one single Goal. He has begun building his alliances with great showmen such as Moe Train. Don’t be mistaken, The FREAK is coming for the Title.
I will tell you the tale of a man who is a legend, mainly in his own mind, but his growing popularity is that of an active volcano, we are all waiting for it to erupt. His claim to fame seems to come from lies and wise tales yet many have been there to either witness or be implicated in one of his acts. His mind wonders a bit and he doesn’t sit still much, or he sits still too much it’s kinda weird to explain. Either way this man has gone by many names, Stephen, Stephano, The Aquatic Giant, TAL, T, Frankie, SLAM, and the finally the Freak. He rarely matches his clothes which adds to the oddity of his character. He may be wearing a black fur with red shorts, or plaid pants with an off-color V-neck. It doesn’t make sense nor should it. He is more cartoon character than real human. Most stories start with, “hey remember that time he did this or did that”. You all laugh and the new guy says “No Fucking Way.” You chuckle, shake your head and walk away, he doesn’t know any better. Recently the Freak added small but new accolades to his growing resume of I can’t believe he is doing that tasks. He was in an independent short film, is a professional boxer (March 24th), had a beer named after his alter ego ” The Selfie King of Delaware”, and now has made it to competitive eater. The Freak will be participating in Wing Bowl on February 2nd.